December 31, 2009

Top 50 Things That Changed My Life This 2009 (Part II)

The continuation of the long list :D hahaha!

Let us have a recap of the previous entries. haha :D
40. Tumblr
39. Kuliti
38. Backmasking Frenzy
37. Gapan, Nueva Ecija
36. Plurk

35. O2Jam
O2Jam is the first online, full-screen game that I have ever played. Haha :D I saw this game first on our trip when I was a Sophomore at Philippine Science High School, and it was re-introduced to me by Jefran and Claudine around August this year. I love this game, for the music was outstanding. Never have I heard remixes this happy, and O2Jam songs are unique in style. Natal Angel, Brahms, Festival of Ghost and V3, who wouldn’t like these songs?

With O2Jam, I guess my hand speed went faster, as it required my hands to press keys instantly. I guess my mind and body coordination improved with it. The falling bars caused me panic at first, but now, I manage to handle the situation most of the time. My appreciation to music grew more with this, for I was introduced to different genres in playing this game. Woot. And I love classical music because of this (though the songs on O2Jam are more on remixed versions..)

Sad to say, O2Jam Philippines is dead, and I gotta stick to O2Mania for the rest of my life to play this game. It is now one of my favorite pastimes. :D

34. Friendster
Friendster is the ultimate social networking giant in Southeast Asia (that is, without the coming of Facebook). For more than five years, Friendster has dominated the internet scene in the Philippines, and the summer of 2009 had made me addicted to it, earning it the 34th spot.

My profile was self-dubbed as “the longest profile in the world”. After knowing some tweaks, I began pimping my profile like crazy. Haha. It was like everyday I am opening my Friendster account and editing its CSS and Media Box. At one time, my profile got so long because of words and pictures that it will take two minutes before it can fully load. I had my blog there, my videos, my songs – almost my life there. Haha.

I never thought I wasted so much time there, but on the process, I have discovered great sites in website development. Websites that counts your visitors, that can put flash games on your profile and countless other cool sites. My view on website programming has never been this wide.

Moreover, I got addicted to comments, and I received my 1000th comment around April. Wahaha.

33. One Town – One Product
Though this is one of my life’s greatest unreal fantasies, it has still managed to grab the 33rd spot on this list. One Town One Product (or OTOP, as it is known nationwide) is a project of the Department of Trade and Industry that aims for one organization to enhance the product of one town for the benefit of the residents there and at the same time, gaining profit for the company.

Our school, Systems Plus College Foundation, participated in this OTOP, which is also an international contest. This contest aims to pick the best One Town – One Product, and then, the winner will compete in the international stage at Brazil. Well, that is their introduction to us.

That introduction happened one February afternoon, when a college student excused us from our class and brought us to the small building in front of the ILI building. They told us that we’ll go to their host community (some sort of a Sitio ___ situated near Clark) and help in the making of the product, that we will be joining in the selling and business planning of the product, and that we will go to Manila for the introduction of the product to the panelists.

They told us that they need us to introduce the product, and that will be our main role on their team. They also colored our minds with imagination when they told us that if we won, we’ll go on a long vacation trip to Brazil for the international contest. Whoa. And that was heavy for my light mind to comprehend. Haha.

Unfortunately, ten months passed and nothing happened. Haha. The end of the fairy tale for me.

32. Jesus Our Victory Church

Now, this was Christine’s church for the 32nd spot on my list. We are from Ate Jov’s apartment, when Christine asked if we can go to their church. At first, I thought people would not even pay serious attention to it, so I thought that majority will not go. Religion is not that of a big thing inside the classroom (that was back then.)

To my shock, after our Antigone session at Ate Jov’s, all of them followed Christine, and before I knew it, we were crossing MacArthur Hi-Way and walking to their church. It was really awkward entering their church, for it is a new atmosphere for me. As their afternoon fellowship went on, it got more uncomfortable for me when they sang (because I am not used to it). But when their pastor stood up and started saying his preaches, that’s when I realized that what I am in was something right. There was even a mini-stage play.

The church was really happy to see us. They greet every new guests with smiles, claps and handshakes. After the fellowship, we were asked to enter one room, and two men talked to us, along with Christine. They told us that they were from other religions before and their search for truth led them there.

It was my first time to be inside the church of a religion other than Roman Catholicism, and it was an experience of a lifetime. They opened my mind that there are other possibilities in faith, that we shall not be confined to what we were raised to believe. We need to find the way God has chosen us to go into.

31. Pagemaker 2009
This is one of the things that made me very busy this year – the Pagemaker, which stands at number 31 in my chart.. This year, I am the editor-in-chief of the school newspaper, and that is a very heavy responsibility to have. And it is like this year, I typed so many words for the newspaper that if I laid all of them out in a straight line, it will go all the way to Manila. Haha.

From the Divisions to the submission of the newspaper, I am very busy. Starting from the Organization Day of July, (when Ma’am Carbungco asked me to do another impromptu speech in front to explain the benefits of Pagemaker), to the final day of the Regionals on December, waaa.. Pagemaker was one of my top concerns.

Before the Divisions, we are having Wednesday classes in the library. For the first time in my life, I felt that I have the need to organize all these faces that I do not know. Ma’am Carbungco frequently stays at her room for a long time, leaving me all alone to handle things. Chica is the president of the Drum and Lyre, and I could not ask for his help because I know that he is busy there. And I still have the need to chase over Annabeth and Ian, and at the same time, entertaining those waiting students in the library. What a drag. Good thing to note, I gained many friends here. :D

Then, the preparation for the Division goes on. We even had our Saturday seminars, aside from our intensive pull-out. After the division is one of the busiest months of my life T_T – the making of the newspaper. We need to finish the newspaper so that we can qualify for the Regionals. For long nights, I have been typing articles, and for long days, I am asking for people to write articles. I walked inside classrooms to ask for contributions, and I walk back to collect them. I freeze inside the library to think of things to write, sometimes even requiring Saturdays at school and Sundays in front of Microsoft Word. Ultimately, it required me to go to Sir Antonio’s house (and that was my first visit there), answer countless calls from Ma’am Carbungco and Sir Antonio, send stuffs through his e-mail, and cut classes to go to the printing press.

Job well done. Woot.

Up next.. for posting tomorrow :D
Top 30-26 \:D/

Top 50 Things That Changed My Life This 2009 (Part I)

Top 50 things that changed my 2009
And this is my year-end special. Here are the 50 things that changed my life this 2009… the 50 things that had the most influence, either good or bad, and had the most impact in the course of my life. Starting from January, down to the very last days of December. I'll start from the 40th :D It is all listed here. :D I’ll appreciate you reading this post.

40. Tumblr

Yes, and the 40th spot, and the first to be mentioned in the list is Tumblr. I knew it just a few days now but it’s impact in my life is now highly visible. Tumblr is now my new MWR (Mood Weather Report) where I post my daily log or diary entries. It became my new burnbook where I post everything I think. It replaced Plurk as my daily timeline update beacon. I guess I am getting hooked to Tumblr.

One Tumblr caught my eye even before I joined this. It was I was amazed at how she inserts words artistically into Photoshop, and I envy her T_T haha. That’s why I am on a quest to learn from her styles. I am also addicted to the reblogs of pictures with heartwarming, and sometimes funny quotes or stories. I always get my daily dose of laughs and inspiration at Tumblr. :D

It was also nice customizing my site. (another site, another focus). Woot. Looking forward for more readers.

39. Kuliti
Idk what is the English of this eye infection but the kuliti have wreaked havoc on my face this year. I had five kuliti’s this year if my count is right, shifting from the right eye to the left eye and vice versa from September to November. I have the coolest eyes on the planet with these infection.. the others seem to be bites from creepy crawlies, while the others seem to be just bacterial or viral infection.

The worse of this inflations was the fifth one, when it bulged on the lower eyelid of my left eye. Bulges on the lower eyelid are rare, and if they occur, they are extremely painful and uncomfortable. This made me jerk liters of tears. Every blink is painful, and I almost wanted to keep my eyes open even at sleep. Haha. :D

Anyways, a kuliti became my trademark. It became a usual sight on my face. (and what a trademark?  )

38. Backmasking Frenzy
Nothing gave me goosebumps greater this year than backmasks, which grabs the 38th place in my Top 40 list. To inform everybody, backmasking is a process wherein the songs are played in reverse, (similar to rewinding but in a normal playing speed), that when done so, a hidden message from those twisted deep sound waves becomes audible. The messages are mostly Satanic, vulgar and obscene in nature. Some may tell you to have sex, some may tell you to commit crimes.

There is also this connotation that backmasked message urges you to do things out of your consciousness. Once you get addicted to that song, you get to absorb its backmasked message into a command. If the message tells you to kill somebody, then you’ll be a potential murderer. Creepy ei?!

My frenzy on it rose at its peak around July and August, when me and my classmates go to Youtube to hear backmasked songs. The voice is deep, demonic and horrible, and the lyrics are equally evil as well. I hate it (and as I am typing this, I am having goosebumps.) I never knew that musicians would incorporate such evil things on their songs. Even Eraserheads has one. Goosebumps already? Type on YouTube: Backmask. Even Wikipedia confirms its valid existence.

That’s when I started to dislike Eagles, Beatles and Eraserheads. The reason: their songs. I hate it. Every time I listen to songs, it always gives me the chills that this song might have a hidden message.

37. Gapan, Nueva Ecija
Woot! Gapan City is this year’s host of the Regional Schools Press Conference (RSPC). RSPC is an annual contest (usually on the first week of December) of campus journalists and school papers who have won and qualified to represent their division. 17 divisions will compete in 14 individual writing contests, radio broadcasting categories and school paper contests.

Every year at the Regionals is a new experience. My first was at Subic, and my second was closer at home, at Angeles City. This year was at Gapan, and my, oh my, experiences had filled me once again.

Gapan made me swallow my first dose of red eggs and tomatoes. I have never eaten them before. That was also my first time to be under attack while I am asleep. Our building is situated near a squatter’s area, and every night, someone will throw on huge rocks to our window or roofs and disrupt our silence. That is a big safety issue.

And there I met Sherwin, who defined a new brand of comedy in my ears. Haha. And I also met Gilbert Teodoro there, (though not actually met, but only seen. Whew. And he is a big man.) I also saw there my first big tornado encounter. That vortex was larger than a human, but not that destructive.

There is also this woman, while Annabeth and I are walking at night in search of food, who was screaming (like for help?) in the middle of the road. The road was empty, no vehicles are passing, when suddenly, she fell like she was unconscious. Some seconds of silence after, her head tilted and faced us, piercingly look at us, stood up and ran away like crazy, though his dress was that of a normal human. Weird?

36. Plurk
This is another website that got me addicted last summer – Plurk, number 36 on my list. Plurk is the 42nd most visited site in the Philippines. It is a portmanteau of “play” and “work” and also serves as an acronym for peace, love, unity, respect, and karma – five things that the Plurk community campaigns on.

Why have I gone addicted to this site? It was on May 2009 when I started plurking, and its tagline is “Your life on the line”. I guess that line got me hooked, and I started plurking everything on my life out there. Events, happy moments, memories, quotes, pictures and some random greetings – everything is literally there! Haha :D besides that, they got a scoring system called Karma, that gains every time you plurk, gain friends or earn responses, and falls down after 24 hours of inactivity. That means that you gotta be active on that site!

Plurk kept me updated on stuffs that I have never thought of getting updated in before. It also introduced me to some of my online buddies, which only one survives in existence until today. Haha. That was like my first Twitter. Haha. Currently, my Plurk is Karma freezed but I cannot update it regularly anymore. Now, my karma is at 86 out of the possible 100. Woot. Nirvana. (they call the karma level 81-100 as Plurk Nirvana. And that’s the main goal of every plurker.)

Next post: Top 35 to 31 :D

[Edited: January 2, 2010]
and "stye" is the English word for "kuliti".. haha. thanks to a guest who PM'd me 10:18am. :D I was not able to reply sorry, for my father was sitting at the computer back then :D.. and it is stye :D

December 27, 2009


What makes you click nearly 1,500 consecutive times on your mouse? What makes you wake early in the morning? What makes you sit in the computer for long? As for me, the answer is the freakin’ Farmville.

Sort of a shocker to me, Farmville is the biggest game on Facebook. It has over 20 million daily active users, people who share the same sentiments with me, 9 million fans on its fan page and 70 million monthly users. I never expected that such a stupid game like this can get a third of the Facebook population hooked up?!

Farmville was introduced to me by no one. I just saw it being posted by some of my random Restaurant City friends. Then, as weeks pass, my real life friends started playing it and started to post level-ups, lost animals, item purchases and crop masteries. At first, it was irritating to see all those alien-eyed characters clog my news feed. The Farmville logo does not bite me, and it is not as catchy as the logo of Restaurant City and Pet Society. I am a Playfish loyalist, and Zynga is not my type.

At the classroom, buzzes will start flying around of seeds, plowing, animals and other farming stuff that I thought was for our Home Economics subject. It was kinda weird to here farming when our topic was food management. Soon, the word Farmville became the talk of the town, and I became an outcast, not knowing a single bit, except for the lame logo and the bulgy eyes, about Farmville.

Going back in front of the desktop, my news feed is being jammed again by the following words: “**Facebook user** has given up city living and started his own farm…” That was Farmville’s way of welcoming new obsessed and ill-fated farmers.

Another day at the classroom and the frenzy for that farming simulation game is getting wilder. My classmates are screaming the words “pagift” several times. They say they want lemon trees, cherry trees, horses, and not the whitewash fences and the topiaries. “What the heck were those?” I just thought to myself.

Farmville’s first impression to me was an overly childish game with very poor graphics quality. I think the gameplay is as sour yet addicting as Tetris, and good for a human whose brain capacity can be compared to a floppy disk. They say the music is cool, with the sounds of the farm animals circulating your home. I hate moo’s and oink’s, and who would be crazy to play those sounds at home. I’d rather play a recording of the Holy Week’s pasyon on our computer all day long than turn the toggle on for the Farmville music to play even for just a minute.

But since everyone is hooked, I tried.

The loading is screen is awfully unattractive. I am missing the wavy loading action of Playfish games. The first games that I played on Facebook were Playfish games. I got hooked to Who Has the Biggest Brain, Word Challenge and Geo Challenge back during the summer break, and later, I tried my food management skills in Restaurant City. I also have my Pet Society, but that did not fascinated me so much. I felt bored seeing my pet walking around like a silly voodoo doll.

“Farmville Beta…” it says. I could have read those words a million times before the loading bar gets filled.

Finally, it opened and it prompted me to choose my gender. After it, I saw my character standing in front of 4 to 8 plots, some of the plots were fallow land, some were plowed, some with plants ready to harvest and some with plants still growing. The tutorial was fast and cheesy; not a drop of sweat was used.

I harvested, I plowed and I planted, and the first crop I planted was the first seed on the list – strawberry. I never thought that Farmville was such a boring game, that you have to wait for hours just to harvest a crop. Unlike in Restaurant City wherein when you are logged in, you are already earning money. In Farmville, it is different. Plant today and earn tomorrow.

Days passed and my enthusiasm for Farmville grew. I was the fastest leveling person in the classroom at that time. I jumped 13 levels on my first three days as a farmer on Farmville, and they are all shocked by my progress. Now, I am in my quest to be the top 1 on Farmville.

I give gifts and gifts, so that I can receive gifts as well. I added neighbors, lots of them, so that I can have many people to help, and that gives me XP. I plant strawberries or blueberries, these are four hour crops, and by my calculation, they give the most XPs out of any other crops.

Earning money is fun. Unlike in PS and RC, money is so rare. Here in Farmville, one harvesting session can earn you a hundred thousand coins, and that allows a farmer to buy amazing and cool stuffs. The only thing expensive in Farmville (except for those items in Farmville cash) are the buildings, but the rest, the decorations and the animals, are all centavos in price.

With that, zoom zoom, I got passed my classmates and is now on the top spot. Haha. I am now the King of the Plow! Haha! Farmville XPs and levels had become a competition in our classroom.

But Farmville has given me more burden than joy. Farmville has caused me more failure than success. No one can ever get success with those virtual coins anyways.

Farmville is the ultimate schedule wrecker. Nothing can make me click almost 1,500 times a day, and during my blueberry planting heydays, 4,000 clicks a day, than Farmville. Clicking, and waiting for those processes to be done takes time, and the time being taken is a time that is supposed to be for sleep or doing projects. It takes me 30 minutes to farm my 24x24 farm today, and because I am so rushed always, I do not harvest my trees and animals anymore.

Harvesting trees and animals is a burden more than a profit. Imagine clicking two times for a hundred coins?! These are one of the many complains I have in Farmville, why can’t they have a “Select All Ready Animals” so they can be all harvested at once. I’m quite glad at their approach at chicken coops and dairy farms, but those efforts are not enough.

Another that puts me at wit’s end is the synchronization issues. Once you have clicked the 400 plots and the processes starts to running, a message will appear in front of you, “Code a4, out of sync with the server, refresh the page.” Yes, I know you share the same complaints with me if you are a Farmville player, and these messages makes me wanna bang our monitor into pieces. I want to suck the liquid out of this liquid crystal display that they are telling me, and I wanna tell the management of Farmville that they need a new set of programmers now!

Another message that sounds familiar to the 70 million monthly users is “Farmville has enhanced, refresh the page to continue.” That message makes me wish that Farmville should have always stayed the same and never enhanced, for after the million clicks that I have made they will just put it to waste?! They are downright merciless! I hate it! Seeing the dialog box is a sign that my efforts are wasted, for there is no other button than that green “Refresh”. Clicking it is never refreshing, in fact, it raises the temperature inside my head. A question in my mind: Why is it that when I refresh, I see no enhancements?

Then, there is an aid for all those clicks. They introduced to everyone their seeder, harvester and *I forgot how they call the one that plows*. One click lets you do a certain task to four plots, making your work four times faster. But merciless Farmville won’t give convenience that easy to its players, they have incorporated fuel refills to their system.

One fuel refill lets you harvest a third of your farm, and once you have your refill unfilled, you have to wait two hours for the fuel to be full again, or buy a fuel refill worth some hefty Farmville cash. Buying a fuel refill is a waste of money, and waiting for it to be full again is a waste of time. So, in other words, you still have to click the remainder of the plots, not to mention clicking the whole field two times again for the plowing and planting.

My classmates are now using AutoClickers, their cheating devices that they say are just for convenience. And I, I use my hands, just bare hands.

Going to my Facebook home page, I can see that I have requests stucked and unapproved. I have 80+ Farmville gift requests and it sometimes zooms up to 100, the maximum number of pending requests one can have. It is tiring to approve all the gifts. It takes two clicks, and between those clicks is the boring loading time for the page, for you to approve a single gift. Do it a hundred times and I’ll be as old as the Earth itself when I finish.

Withered. I hate it when my crops go withered. It is the ultimate bankruptcy a farmer can have on his farm. It is like putting Ondoy on the screen to flood the farm, followed by the intensifying global warming to dry the leaves up. It will be a total disaster since you have your money going to waste. Just imagine nearly 500 plots, each with seeds nearly 200 coins in price, giving you a deficit of 15 coins because of plowing? That’s pain in the pocket. That’s why, Farmers will even disrupt their biological clocks, their class schedule, their eating and sleeping time, and even their brothers’ and sisters’ happiness just to harvest those delicate crops.

Farmville is more boring than it should be fun, and the only reason I got into it was because of my classmate’s pressure, and that is also the same reason on why I am continuing farming. Call me a Farmvillain?! Call me. haha. I’d rather go cooking at CafĂ© World or Restaurant City rather than waiting for my peas to grow and be harvested.

Oh wait, it’s time to harvest my crops. ‘Til then. Bye :D

December 26, 2009

Tinig ng Torpe III: Mga Palamuti't Pangarap

Tinig ng Torpe III
Mga Palamuti’t Pangarap

Ang kampana ng simbahan, tayo ay ginigising na
Pagkat ngayo’y kapaskuhan at sasamba ang balana;
Sa gitna ng kasiyahan, ako’y naiwang mag-isa:
Mukha mo’y nasa isipan, patuloy na umaasa.

Malamig na ang amihan; Pasko na nga’y naririto;
Sana ikaw ay mahagkan, sa gitna ng lamig na ‘to.
Tayo ay sabay hihigop ng umuusok na sabaw,
At sa iisang talukbong, tayo’y iinit sa ginaw.

Sa labas ay may bibingka, bagong luto at mainit,
Ngunit iba kapag yakap ang sa iyo’y humihigpit;
Wala ng ibang panlaban sa gabing malamig
Kundi init sa katawan ng nag-iisang pag-ibig.

Isang laro sa mga mata ang kulay ng banderitas:
Matitingkad at pambata, isang obra sa itaas!
Pero ang kulay ay kulang para ang puso’y matuwa,
Sa mata mo ay sulyap lang, buong buhay, di magsasawa!

Simbang gabi’y bubuuin kung ikaw lang ang kasama;
Probinsya’y ‘di iisipin, hawak mo lang ay madama.
Sa kaarawan ni Kristo, ang tangi kong panalangin,
Kung magtapat ang torpeng ‘to, sana ay iyong sagutin >:]

Pero kailan magtatapat ang takot at torpeng puso,
Taon na ay mag-iiba’t magpapalit na ng uso.
Bago yata magsalita, pundido na’ng mga bituin,
Ang tinatagong pagsinta, kapag nahuli’y aanhin?

Kumukuti-kutitap na, wari’y mga alitaptap,
Mga pampaskong bumbilya, tila langit ay natatap;
Gumagapang, patay-sindi, sari-saring mga takbo,
Nagliliwanag sa gabi, mga mata’y nililito!

Pero Pasko ay madilim kung ika’y wala sa tabi;
Ngiti mo ay nagniningning, ang tanging ilaw sa gabi.
Sanlibo man ang Christmas lights, tuwa’y ‘di maaaninag,
Dahil sa aking Silent Night, ikaw lang ang siyang liwanag.

Punung-puno ng palawit ang mailaw na krismas tri,
Mga bola’y nakasabit, garland, pinecones at reindeers din.
Ang iyong larawan sana, isasabit ko sa puno;
Sa paskong ako’y ulila, ikaw pari’y nasa puso.

Ayon sa Banal na Aklat ay isinilang si Kristo,
At dahil sa sila’y salat, at sakay lamang ng asno,
‘To’y nangyari sa sabsaban, kasama ang mga hayop;
Ligtas ang sangkatauhan, tayo ay napagkaloob!

At kahit saan nga naman, mapasabsaban o kalsada,
Tunay na pag-iibigan, anumang lugar ay ramdam.
Basta’t ikaw ang kasama, saanman ay tutunguhin,
Lahat ng daana’y magiging paraisong hardin!

Ayon pa sa kasaysayan, isang tala ang gumabay,
Sa tatlong may nalalaman sa pagsilang ng Messiah,
At kanila ngang narating ang bagong silang na sanggol,
Na payapang humihimbing para magbigay ng handog.

Wala ng ibang bituin ang sa akin ay gagabay;
Ikaw lang ang mamahalin; puso ko sayo ay alay.
Ikaw ay aking susundan, tungo ko ang iyong puso;
Ang tala sa kalangitan sa gabi ng aking Pasko!

May kakatok sa pintuan at magsisimulang kumanta
Para lang aming limusan, aawit ang mga bata;
Minsan aking naiisip na pagbukas ko ng pinto,
Sana ika’y nakasilip, sa harap ko’y nakatayo.

Wala ng mas tatamis pa sa boses mong makalangit;
Tunay kong ikatutuwa ‘pag ngalan ko’y ‘yong mabanggit;
Kumatok ka lang sa amin at bukas ang aming pinto,
Ikaw ay patutuluyin, ibibigay kahit ano.

Ako naman ang kakanta, mangangaroling sa’yo,
Hiling ko’y iyong pagsinta, mapasaakin puso mo.
Ang salapi’y di kailangan, nasa ko’y ang iyong ‘oo’;
Pagmamahal ko’y suklian, ibigay mo ng pamasko.

Aanhin ang sobreng pula, aanhin ko’ng mga kahon,
Kung ikaw naman ay wala, kasiyaha’y mababaon?
Ang hiling ko ngayong Pasko, walang iba kundi ikaw,
Sana ako’y may regalo, Pasko ko’y bigyan mong ilaw.

Santa Claus, ikaw ba ‘yan at ako na ay hihiling?
Wishlist ko na ay lalagyan ngunit hindi pupunuin,
Tanging ang iyong pangalan ang isusulat sa papel;
Sana ngayong kapaskuhan, ako ay magdilang-anghel.

Sa gitna ng palamuti, ako’y muling nangangarap,
At sa hiling kong mumunti, nawa ay aking malasap
Ang pag-ibig ngayong Pasko, yakap sa gitna ng lamig,
Kasiyahan sa aking lungkot, kalma sa gitna ng nginig.

Ang Pasko ay pag-ibig daw, panahon ng pagbibigay,
Pero tapos na ang araw, ako’y puno pa ng lumbay.
Ako sana’y isang parol, nag-iilaw at makulay,
Sa isipa’y walang gulo, masaya sa kanyang buhay.

‘Yan na ang mga paputok, nariyan para mag-ingay,
Sa pagmamasid sa usok, sa puso ay mayrong aray;
Habang nagkakatuwaan ang buong mundo sa Pasko,
Narito ako’t luhaan, nakaluklok sa may bangko.

Sisindihan ang kandila, aking malamlam na ilaw,
At sa aking Noche Buena, laman ng isip ko’y ikaw.
Ito ang tinig ng torpe, at sa Pasko’y aking hiling,
Magtapat ang aking labi at ikaw na’y makapiling.

December 20, 2009

For Antigone IV

It was odd for me to see their living room lonely, for I am used seeing my classmates there. I do not know if I’ll sit on my favorite sofa set or if I should wait for Alvin standing. Of course, it is improper to sit without being asked to do so, so I stood. Alvin went down, wearing loose gray shorts and a loose shirt with the label “Polo Sport”. He seems really stressed, and I greeted him with a smile.

He sat, and I was left standing. Following him was his nephew.

“O, where is Chica?” he asked.

“I do not know. he said that we’ll meet at 11:00 am, and I waited for about 45 minutes for them. And since I do not know what to do, I proceeded to the school and asked about Chica. I described him as a semi-bald man carrying many things, but the guard said that no one like that entered the classroom. And then, I asked about the boy scouts, and he said that you already went out of the campus at 10:15. That’s why I went here.”

“No, we went out at around 11:00 am,” and he laughed, “haha! semi-bald man, ei?! And it is already 1:00!”

“Yea! And when Chica arrives here, I’m sure he’ll suffer death!” I jokingly said.

We continued to chat and he told me what happened on the camping. He was the cow leader, for they were divided into three crews on their camping: Baka (cow), Baboy (pig) and Kambing (goat), and he was the crew leader of the Cow Crew. They were titled as the Overall Champion and he was happy with that.

“Where are the videos?” he asked.

“Chica has it,” I said.

He said that he had received a GM (group message) from Kervy that he is looking for Chica, and that he could not contact Chica. Some minutes after, Chica arrived, and I was happy to see him, for at last, we can at least start.

Then, his sister told something about “Sponge”. I have no idea on what was it, but Alvin stood and inserted his hand inside the plastic and pulled out a chocolate-flavored Sponge crunch. He opened it and put it in the table. At first, I do not know whether to get a bite, but since Alvin knows that I am a food-o-phile, I got pieces for myself.

Kervy soon arrived, and we are all complete. Kervy’s arrival should be the signal to start our shoot, but we have other things in mind. Chica does not want to shoot anymore, for it is really tiring. As for me, I am watching those funny bloopers from Julia’s camera. We are all talking to Alvin and we are describing what happened on GPR. “Nawalan kami ng puri!” was our eternal line. We told him that there are many killed and missing scenes in our play and that we have lots to do. Alvin showed a surprised and lonely face, for after his “happy sufferings” in the camp, he’ll have another set of sufferings on editing.

Chica said that we still need to narrate the majority of the scenes, and insert them between the available scenes. Chica wants sound effects, special effects, a killer introduction and many many more. Alvin was just staring at Chica with eyes open yet very emotionless. He was tired, and yet he have many things to do.

And that’s when I opened the topic about staying overnight. Alvin laughed as if I was joking. I never thought of it as funny, but Kervy and Chica joined in the laughing. I was speechless, and I just joined their laughter, pretending that I told that as a joke. I just told them that I’ll go home at 9:15pm. Kervy said he’ll go home at 7pm, while Chica volunteered to stay until 8pm. What? I’ll stay alone with Alvin for an hour, and go home alone? That is fine but of course, it will be finer if I have some companions with me. I persuaded Kervy to stay until 9, but he said that he is not allowed. I really do not believe him at that time, for a man as tall and as mature as him, won’t be allowed by his parents to stay until 9? I am sure they know that Kervy can handle himself, and he is old enough to get out of trouble.

I cannot say that I’ll also go home at 8, for I already said that I am allowed until 9. Besides, I feel pity for Alvin. He is from a tiring camp, and he told us that he hasn’t slept for three days in that camp, and yet, he will be the one to spend another sleepless night for the editing of the film. I firmly stood to my decision that I’ll stay until 9.

For fun, I opened the stories that Alvin told me before, that he saw someone being stabbed to death in their street at night, and I said that I do not want to be a victim. Alvin and Kervy laughed, for they thought that I am really afraid. (Dang… another misconception of my words.) I just continued my jolliness, and asked on how often does the killings happen. Alvin replied, “Ahm, just once a year.”

“And I might be the lucky victim this year!” I said.

Fast forward once more, after talking for hours, we went upstairs and I was holding the chocolate sponge Crunch that Alvin left unattentively. We were at his “desktop” computer and he was opening his kayabangan (boastfulness) program of Adobe Premiere CS4. Then, we asked for the videos from Chica, and he said that he does not have the memory card reader for it. Alvin asked his family if they have a memory card reader for the type of memory card that Julia’s camera have, and yes, they have.

They copied all the videos from all memory cards, except for Julia’s. Julia’s memory card cannot be read, and Chica asked us to go to Julia’s house and ask what is the problem.

“Not me,” I said, “I was the first to go here and still I’ll be the one to go there?”

“I do not know where Julia’s house is,” Kervy said.

“Me, too,” I said.

Chica was the lucky person again, for he was the only person in the house who knows where Julia leaves. He left and borrowed Alvin’s cool striped folding umbrella for there was a light drizzle.

The three of us, Kervy, Alvin and I, just sat down and watched some of the videos. Kervy asked things about video cards and central processing units for they are planning to buy a set this coming month.

Then, I saw Alvin's brother, staring with fire-sparked eyes.

Next: For Antigone V :D haha!

[after so many years, at last, I have updated this story. haha.]

December 16, 2009



This is my cry.. my thoughts.. I was planning to join the Fourth Year Chorale for the Musikahan but was unable to do so because I was at the Regionals Schools Press Conference. When I went back to school, I was just informed that the auditions are over, and that the choir is already full and would not accept any students anymore. Sad.

Alone in the empty woodlands,
I walk as my world starts crumbling;
No one can fully understand
My long, solitary weeping.
Those chanting voices I have heard
Singing carols from afar,
Oh painful are those piercing words,
Their cheerful lyrics bring me harm.

In my dull eyes, I see them form:
Straightly postured, happily lined;
Then voices began to be born
As the conductor gives the sign.
Their singing tongues started to move,
And the music is pacing up,
The whole world is starting to groove,
And all the people started to clap.

Somehow, a glow abides in them,
A guiding light to victory,
As they sing their Christmas anthems,
They step close to their full glory.
I should be happy for their song,
But I scream envy and sorrow;
In my heart, there is something wrong
Like there are no bright tomorrows.

Why is the glow among the choir?
Why is it away from me?
Am I hopeless, worthless and dire
For that glow to not shine on me?
True, they say the world is unfair,
And fate is an evil player;
Chances will knock when you’re not there;
Time is luck’s ultimate slayer.

As I was sleeping in the woods,
Dreaming of my deep fantasies,
Somebody’s taking off his hood
To sing his charming melodies,
And as I intoxicated
Myself in my sleep’s wandering,
The few slots are being granted,
And my chances are vanishing.

And I can never tell myself
That everything will be alright,
When I know I’m in need of help,
When there is danger in the night!
In this hostile, gloomy forest
Lives a strong, restless enemy,
Able to put me in distress
And give me endless miseries.

Sooner my fate will turn again,
A wave of mishaps will approach;
It will bring even greater pain,
It is my lonely life to poach.
One night that I have slept too much
Will bring me three months of darkness;
Never can I have a slight touch
Of the gladness I once possessed.

Every beat is an agony:
Aiming at me, a deadly dart.
Every note is a misery,
Whose goal is to crumble my heart.
Every pitch is a helpless cry
That nobody can comprehend.
Every word is a curse to die,
Oh when all of this have an end?

They will be called; I will be left;
Only with me is my despair.
All my joys had already slept
And abandoned me in nowhere.
In the next room, they will enter,
Leaving me in my endless frowns;
And those voices, they will be heard;
Their melodies bring me deep down.

They will be all talking of it,
Their happy moments in practice,
They will sing with many repeats
Their medley Christmas choral piece.
I will sit there, all out of place
As they chatter in full power,
It is a big slap to my face,
It makes me sad when they converse.

And then I realized one thing
As they greet me with sincere smiles,
I realized that when they sing,
All of my world is now defiled.
The moments I see them happy
Makes me contented deep inside.
Even I lost their company,
At least I see their smiles so wide.

What is sorrow? What is envy?
All of these are just mere evil.
To myself, I shall not pity,
I should focus on what is real.
We all have our share of trials,
But we shall have the will to smile.
My problems will not burn my time,
I’ll make each second more worthwhile.

I am not the only person
Who is experiencing bad luck,
Be glad I am not in prison,
Be glad my vision is not black.
Just think that I am still lucky,
Amidst the hurdles that abide,
Move on and think positively,
Just take a look at the bright side.

December 13, 2009


New lines from my old mind. Wot.

The night sky gives nothing but gloom
Where brightness die, where darkness loom.
The clouds are thick over my head;
The stars are gone, the land is dead.

Cassiopeia! Cassiopeia!
Be with me in this hysteria!
Queen of the night! Heaven’s empress!
My love to you is the highest!

Atop the clouds, I know you’re there;
Below the trees, I’m in despair.
I want to see your splendid face
To light me up in this disgrace.

You are my jewel in the sky;
You are the glow of all fireflies.
The constellation of my heart,
To you my love will not depart.

Cassiopeia! Cassiopeia!
Be with me in my lone drama!
Queen of the sky! Heaven’s empress!
Give me your love in this distress!

Why do I still look at the sky
To see your face, to see you smile,
When I know that you’re deep in me,
I’ll just hold my heart as it beats.

You may be covered by the clouds,
Still inside me, you’re safe and sound.
Throbbing, twinkling inside my mind,
My happiness to you I find.

Cassiopeia! Cassiopeia!
Read my feelings in these stanzas!
Queen of the night! Heaven’s empress!
If I confess, would you say yes?!

December 4, 2009

Tinig ng Torpe II: Masakit na Masarap. :)

Tinig ng Torpe II
Masakit na Masarap

Sumisigaw aking puso, ngunit walang dumidinig,
At sa aking pagtatago, dilim ang s’yang naniniig.
Lungkot ang s’yang sumasakop sa puso kong nag-iisa;
Bakit nga ba nagpasakop? Bakit ba nag-iisa?

At ngayon ika’y titingnan na puno ng kagalakan
Ngunit ang aking isipan ay may pinagsisisihan;
Sayang lang ang aking oras kung ako’y hindi kikilos,
Sa pag-amin ay iiwas, mga araw inuubos.

Ako ay sasama sa’yo saan ka man paroroon,
Gaano man ‘yun kalayo, anuman mga panahon;
Ika’y aking tatabihan, bumagsak man ang mga tala,
Magpahanggang kamatayan, pag-ibig ko’y walang sala.

O bakit ba ang pag-ibig, masakit habang masarap,
Nakapapaso sa bibig, pero saya ‘pag nalasap?
Marami ang tumitikim, marami ang sumusubok,
Ang sakit ay iaatim para ang puso’y tumibok.

Maraming luha’ng tutulo; ang mundo ay hahagulhol,
Pagtatalo’t pagkatalo sa pag-ibig na masahol;
Nag-uumapaw sa sakit ang sarap ng pagmamahal;
Ang pighati ay kapalit ng kasiyahang bubukal.

Tuwing makikita kita sa dantay ng ibang tao,
Ang puso ay nasasaktan, ang loob ay kumukulo;
Nakangiting nakasandal sa balikat na ‘di akin,
Tila ba sakal na sakal ang pusong mapanibughuin.

Ngunit sa aking isipan, may tanong na naglalaro;
Ano ba ang karapatan magselos ng ‘sang tulad ko?
Isang sampal na mahapdi sa pagmumukhang makapal,
Ano ba ang magagawa, e iba ang iyong mahal?!

Masakit nga kung titingnan na ‘ka’y sa kamay ng iba,
Sa akin din ang kasalanan, sa iyo ako’y sino ba?
Kaklase at kaibigan, kasa-kasama paminsan,
At hanggang doon na lamang ang pagsasamahan.

Pero bakit nakangiti ang mukha kong may hinagpis?
Hindi nagdadalamhati sa likod ng sobrang inis,
Bagkus ay nasisiyahan sa tanawing nakikita,
Ano ba’ng napagmamasdan at natutuwa ang mata?

Mga mata mo ay perlas, mas makinang pa sa ginto,
Ngiti mo ay lalabas, sino ang ‘di mahuhulog?
Kahit iba ang kasama, makita ka lang masaya,
Kagalakan nadarama kahit ‘di ramdam ‘yong yakap.

Kapag ika’y pumapasok sa isipan kong magulo,
Ako ay mapapalunok, mapapahawak sa panyo,
Mapapakapit sa buhok, sabay isip ng malalim,
Sa sarap na inaalok, sa katumbas nitong dilim.

Bawat alaala mo ay isang kurot na mariin,
Paghihinagpis ang bigay sa isipan at damdamin;
Sa oras na nasasayang, sa oras pang sasayangin,
Ang nakapanghihinayang, ‘di ko pa kayang sabihin.

Bawat alaala mo rin hatid ay sobrang ligaya:
Mga gunitang sa atin, mga araw na kaysaya,
Ang ating pagsasamahan, mga kwento mo sa akin,
Lahat ay nasa isipan, tinatago ng damdamin.

Lahat ng litrato natin, aking tinitingnan lagi,
At doon sa bawat tingin, sa isipa’y sumasagi,
Just edit sa’king Photoshop kapag sumapit ang gabi,
Pagkaraan ng ‘sang iglap, kami na ay magkatabi!

Lahat ng ‘yong alaala hatid ay sakit na sarap,
Hinanakit na ligaya, pagdurusang alapaap;
Ewan ba sa’king sarili at kaytagal nagtitiis
Na ang pagsinta’y ikubli at mag-isa na tumangis.

Sana sa daigdig na ‘to, lahat ay pwedeng sabihin
Nang sayo’y walang babato, bagkus ika’y pupurihin,
Pero ang pasya ng mundo sa’king pagsinta sa iyo,
Ikimkim lang at itago hanggang sa ika’y lumayo.

Sino nga ba ang nagsabi na ito’y ‘di pwede’t bawal?
Wala! Walang imposible sa lalaking nagmamahal!
Uunahin ang pag-ibig sa sariling kapakanan,
Ang torpe ay nadidinig ng buong sangkatauhan!

Pero ang pagkakaibigan, siguradong masisira,
Kaytagal pinaghirapan, bigla na lang mabubura?
Roleta ng tadhana ko, ano ba ang pipiliin,
Kaibigang sigurado, kasintahang alanganin?

Kayhabang pagsasama ang nakasaalang-alang;
Isang taong mahalaga, magagalit, maiilang.
Aamining pagmamahal, kapag hindi mo tinanggap,
Sa iyo ay isang aral na lumayo sa’king yakap.

Ako’y tatahimik na lang, pagmamahal ikikimkim,
Para ako’y ‘di lubayan, makalapit pa ng lihim;
Ngayo’y sasamantalahin, pagkakaibigang ito;
Bawat sandali’y dadamhin habang tayo’y magkatoto.

‘Pag sinabi ko sa iyo ang nararamdamang ito,
Baka ako’y iwasan mo at iwang durog ang puso,
Pero sa pagkakaibigan, tayo pa’y nagkakatabi,
Ika’y nakakabiruan, mga gusto’y sinasabi.

Ang pagmamahal kong tunay, napakasakit itago,
Pero ngiting iyong bigay, sa mundo ko’y nagpabago.
Dahil sa tinig ng torpe, akin ngayong nalalasap,
Dumudugo, humahapdi, ang masakit na masarap.